Round two....

Not really a round two, as in here comes some more demons, but was trying to find a witty title to follow my fighting demons blog. In a fight, you got 3 rounds.... :)

So I do believe that blog post, that day, was my rock bottom. No, I didn't wake up totally better the next morning, but I did feel MUCH better. I think that writing, venting, whatever you call it, is so theraputic. Just as much as talking about something, which is why therapists are in business. :) It just helps to vent, get it out there, and then let it go. At least I think so.

It helped that the next day was 80 degrees and we got to spend 4 hours at the zoo as well. Sunshine always does me good. I know the vitamin D helps our brain to release seratonin, which is our "feel good" chemical. So that plays a big part. But just in general, my body and moods rely on light and sun. Once the sun goes down, it's like I can't function as well, my body just wants to shut down. I'm tired, I'm cranky, and have little motivation. But when the sun is up, I can just go and go and go. Alan makes fun of me for having every light in the house on, and all the blinds open, he likes to have a dark room. But I can't function in a dark room. I have to have the light. It's like I am solar powered or something. :)

And then of course spring always rejuventaes me. There is something about the cool crisp air of a spring morning that just gets me, it makes me happy. And then the day gets warmer and warmer, the sun seems to shine a bit more, and it just makes me happy. Every spring I get my spring fever, where I just want to go out and make lots of plans and do lots of stuff, and I am just giddy. Whereas in the winter, I am content to stay home, bake, cuddle up on the couch under a blanket. Makes sense.

So spring is helping to lift my spirits as much as anything else. The negative thoughts are back to a whisper and I am doing my best to just ignore them.

I will lose weight. I will teach my kids to make good decisions. I will someday finish my novel. I will make a difference in this world with my life. I will. I will. I. Will.

Life does have purpose. It does have a point.

Our church does series messages. Each month is a new series. This month is called "Who do you think you are?" and this week was called Masterpiece. My notes from the service: if you felt like there is something wrong with your life, without Christ, there is something wrong with your life. With Christ, you are God's masterpiece. As God's Masterppiece you are created for the master's purpose. We are not saved BY good works, but instead we are saved to DO good works. "God don't make no junk" :) Life without purpose is time without meaning. If you don't know what the purpose of your life is, all you can do is use and abuse it. You have everything you need to do everything God wants you to. There is Masterpiece envy, you want this persons ability, why am I not as good at this as so and so is, but that is their purpose, not yours. You have the gifts and talents you need for YOUR purpose. God uses everything in your life to bring about his purposes. That includes the good, the bad and the ugly. God uses the bad stuff too, what should you be learning from the bad stuff to help fulfill your purpose? If you don't like yourself, Let God remake you.

It was a great service. You can actually go online and watch it at lifechurch.tv if that is something that interests you.

And it was exactly what I needed this week. I always think it's interesting how the church service will line up and be exactly what I need. :)