I declare a do over!!! ( aka week 5)

So before yesterday, which is weigh in day, the "losers' and i had already decided that due to the 2 weeks of snow, and the fact that none of us was doing very well, that we were starting our 90 day biggest loser challenge over (which makes me feel pathetic and hopeless and like I'm always going to have excuses and am never going to lose the weight, sigh. I actually have had a blog post stewing in my head for about a week now about fighting off these demons, and sme point in the near future, I will write it).

It was my idea, but everyone seemed happy to do it.

And when I weighed in yesterday, in order to start all over as day 1, I was EXACTLY the same weight as I was on day 1, 5 weeks ago, which makes me so mad. I mean it could be worse, I could have gained weight instead of going up and down, up and down, to end up at the same weight. BUT that was 5 weeks lost, and it makes me angry. Angry at myself for not being able to do it.

This last week, I didn't even try to count points. I baked to my little hearst content, ate everything I felt like eating, and didn't get much exercise due to the snow (although, really that's just an excuse too). I REALLY want to lose a significant amount of weight before late spring/summer, or else none of my clothes are going to fit. Last spring/summer, when I had lost all that weight, I bought all of these super cute hippie sun dresses, which I LOVE. But now I've gained 30 lbs since then, and they are not going to fit. And I want them to fit! So I got to get on this.

And of course, yeterday being Valentine's day, the week didn't start off great. But today, today has been better. Not great, but better. I need to get to the point where it is GREAT. I need to pysch myself up and get motivated and do this right, because at least 50% of it is all mental, if not more, I know it is. And I just need to figure out a way to do it.

I was proud of myself today, for giving Alan my last Cuppies-n-Joe cupcake, the yummy sea salt & caramel one I had been craving and bought myself yesterday (in addition to the other one I DID eat), and was going to eat is after dinner last night as my last treat before my diet, but was way too full to even force myself to eat it. After work today, I handed it to Alan and told him he should eat it, even though I REALLY wanted to eat it. So it's a start. Now I need to get rid of the box of Thin Mint Girl scout cookies that are in my freezer. Because I ate an entire box by myself last week already. And not just an entire box of thin mints, I also ate an entire box of Samoas. AND an entire box of PB tagalongs. During a period of a little over a week I ate 3 boxes of girl scout cookies. By myself. oh just 2 or 3 at a time, several times a day!! I have to get rid of them. They are the devil. :) ok,not really, my self-control is to blame, not the innocently sweet (and yummy) girl scout cookies. Sigh. So it is AMAZING I am still just at my starting weight and didn't gain more this week......

But this week will be better. It HAS to be better. I am stocked with lots of fruits, veggies, fish & chicken. I made it to the gym for an hour yesterday, I walked for 20 minutes after work today. I can do this. I can do this. I. Can. Do. This.

So next week is not week 6, it will be "Losers" Week 1. Clean slate. I am going to do so much better this time. I will fit into my summer dresses. I will. I will. I. Will.